do the unthinkable.                    
     When I finally realized too late  
that I wasn’t watching a video, I      
began to hate my fantasy world with    
such an intense passion that I wanted  
to burn my hands to cinders on a red-  
hot stove. I never wanted to do what   
I did ever again.                      
     I even got up to turn on the      
stove, but before I could get off the  
couch, I was hit with such an over-    
whelming feeling of guilt, that every- 
thing turned into what I call the      
Darkness. All I could see, even when I 
closed my eyes, was my fantasy world   
playing over and over again what I’d   
done, and I didn’t know how to stop    
it.                                    
     I fell to the floor and cried for 
three days.                            
*      The only thing that stopped that    
fucking video was knocking myself out, 
and I know that none of this is even   
close to the beginning of any kind of  
an excuse or plea for redemption,      
because I deserve all the hate I get.  
     Loving them when I was a kid had  
finally come back to haunt me like a   
never-ending nightmare, and whenever I 
told my friends about it, they         
changed, and I’m now worried that      
it’ll also change you...               


     I’ve lost so many friends because 
of it that...                          


     Sorry, but anyway, like I told    
you before, I have an eidetic memory,  
or as everyone else likes to call it,  
a photographic memory.                 
     It’s not perfect, because I still 
have memory lapses, but most of the    



CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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