The
AmyStrange & the Criminal
Series by Dave Ayotte
[ TABLE of CONTENTS | MOBILE VERSION | LAPTOP/TABLET VERSION ]
JOIN the REVOLUTION
(WHAT REVOLUTION?)
AND GET YOUR FREE E-BOOK:
(OR, [CLICK HERE] TO READ PART 1 NOW, ON THIS WEBSITE)
REMEMBER: THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
CLICK Your E-Book Reader BELOW
to DOWNLOAD PART 1 for FREE:
Your E-BOOK READER MUST BE ON the DEVICE that
you're downloading it to, OTHERWISE IT WON'T OPEN!
Q: WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE AN E-BOOK READER
A: You can either get a free Kindle App from Amazon,
OR, [CLICK HERE] TO READ PART 1 NOW, ON THIS WEBSITE
REMEMBER: THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
WHAT REVOLUTION?
What the fuck am I talking about?
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
is the price of e-books.
I know, I know, there's a lot more
important stuff to revolt against, and
except for donating money and voting,
this is something that I can do to maybe
help change the situation, and you can
help too.
(Stephen King also helped, but he's clueless
about it, and you'll see why in a minute.)
Anyway, before I started selling e-books
on Amazon, I wondered just how much it
actually cost to make them.
Come to find out, it's really not that
much, and even at $2.99, I still make a
little money, but then I wondered why
other authors sell theirs at $9.99 or
more.
That just seems excessively greedy to me,
especially since you can still make money
at my lower price.
Personally, I'd rather have more readers
than money, and that's why I'm trying to
figure out ways to get my books to you at
the cheapest price possible.
Giving my first book away for free is
important, because it's a good story and
also a good series, and you should be
able to find that out first, before
giving me money to write even more
good stories.
Even before you download BOOK 1 for free,
you can see how good it is by reading the
FIRST 10 PAGES, the SERIES OVERVIEW, and
the CHAPTER SUMMARIES (for all my books)
here:
[ FIRST 10 PAGES | SERIES OVERVIEW | CHAPTER SUMMARIES ]
Of course, once they get there, you can
always read them at the library.
The problem is that I don't know how long
that's gonna take, and besides, when you
find out how good they are, you won't be
able to keep them, and that's the catch
with libraries.
Q: What's the catch with my free book
A: You can keep it forever, but If you
want to read the rest of the series,
you'll have to pay for them, and I'm
hoping that keeping my prices low,
will help make up for that a little.
Some of my friends have complained that
trying to download the free copy of my
book didn't always work, and that's why
I'm planning on putting it all on this
webpage, so it'll be easier to access and
still free to read.
Like I said, Amazon's where I'm selling
all my books, because I don't even wanna
have to deal with collecting all those
different state and country taxes, and
then I'd have to keep track of all that?!
Screw that crap! I'd rather be spending
my time writing stories about AmyStrange,
the talking Cat, and her posse. That's
definitely a lot more fun.
Plus, they can print books on demand, and
that's something I can't do, because I'm
poor. It's also why I chose to print it
in a bigger size, because it's cheaper
for you guys to buy.
I'm also thinking of doing something that
Stephen King tried to do once.
HERE'S THE STEPHEN KING PART:
It was right around the time computers,
the internet, and especially e-mail, were
becoming big time popular; and he was
trying to figure out a way to use them as
a way to deliver and read books.
Interestingly enough, this was, I think,
at least four or five years before the
Amazon Kindle was born in 2007.
I can't remember how I learned about
this, but as soon as I found out, I got
right on it.
What he did was write a chapter a month
and charged us a dollar a month to read
it. He wanted to see if it was a viable
alternative to books as a reading source.
I think the name of it was, "The Plant,"
and it was kind of like, "A Little Shop
of Horrors," but with a cool Stephen King
twist, that I can't for the life of me
remember now.
In short, it was a pretty good story, but
he got busy on other projects and had to
abandon that one as a result.
I want to do the same thing, except
instead of charging a dollar a month,
I'll charge you a dollar for the whole
book and deliver two or three chapters a
month by e-mail, and that's an average of
five to six months to read each book.
It's gonna take that long to transfer
each one from a Word doc into something
that I can send by e-mail.
Maybe it won't, but I'm still worried
about doing it, because even though I'm
not greedy like some authors, I'd still
like to make some money off my books and
imaginative ideas.
Giving all my books away by e-mail (even
for a dollar) sounds like a disaster just
waiting to happen, because all it'd take
would be for one person to send them out
to another person, and so on and so on,
and all I'd end up with is that one
dollar.
I'm 63 years old and living off social
security. It took me 38 years to write
and proofread my first three books, and
like I said, I'm not greedy, but doing
all that for a dollar still doesn't seem
fair to me.
I'm still considering it, but I just
don't know how to do it yet. If anyone
has any ideas on how to do this, or any
other ways to make my books as cheap as
possible, feel free to e-mail me, because
you the reader are way more important
than me the writer (REMOVE SPACES):
ATOM @ ATOMADNESS.COM
So, please, please, please:
JOIN the REVOLUTION
get your free e-book,
and I promise to keep my prices
AS LOW AS I POSSIBLY CAN
AND MAYBE TOGETHER,
We can change how much e-books cost
SERIES OVERVIEW
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
(SORRY for the VIEW, but the Cat won't let me change it,
and have you ever tried to argue with a Cat?!)
AFTER killing his pet kitten in an
uncontrollable rage, the guilt forces
the Criminal to spend the rest of his
life saving abused animals. It's either
that or commit suicide. Dying while
saving an animal seemed like the better
choice.
It also gives him these uncontrollable
impulses to do crazy things, like
running blindly across a busy highway
to save a bird or diving headfirst off
the side of a bridge to save some
drowning bunnies.
He tries to make fun of it, but ever
since meeting his dream girl, Beth, he
worries constantly about killing her
in an uncontrollable rage too.
He enlist a crazy shrink, Dr. Zinger,
for help, but all she suggest is that
he start a Journal.
This is it, but what's crazy is while
writing it, he also meets a talking
Cat, AmyStrange, and begins to wonder
if maybe it isn't a sign that he's
about to go bonkers, out of control,
crazy and maybe kill Beth for real.
He knows she won't go down easy. She'll
probably kill him first, or just shoot
him in the leg. She carries a Glock 19
with her everywhere and is better than
an expert shot, even when she's
blindfolded.
The Cat begs the Criminal to help her
escape, and the adventures that follow
are not only hilarious but also a dark
look at the disturbing worlds of
missing persons, euthanasia, animal
abuse and mental illness.
It truly is a joyride through hell.
THE SERIES:
PART 1: the Escape (AVAILABLE NOW)
The Criminal, his fiancé, and secret
friends help AmyStrange, the talking
Cat, escape from her captors.
PART 2: the Disappearance (AVAILABLE NOW)
The Criminal's pretend arch-enemy
disappears, and it's up to AmyStrange
to find her.
PART 3: the Road Trip (AVAILABLE NOW)
The gang heads to Seattle to rescue
two of AmyStrange's cat buddies.
PART 4: the Wedding (COMING SOON)
The gang runs around the country
finding missing persons, ending with
the Wedding of Beth and the Criminal.
PART 5: the Corporation (COMING SOON)
The gang goes head to head against The
Corporation.
PART 6: the Killings (COMING SOON)
Someone’s killing black cats, starting
from the West Coast, and it looks like
they’re headed straight for AmyStrange.
BUY: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
BUY EITHER VERSION AT AMAZON.COM:
KINDLE $2.99 PAPERBACK $6.99
(+tax and any shipping)
AmyStrange & the Criminal
(PART 1: the Escape)
The Criminal, his fiancé, and secret friends help
AmyStrange, the talking Cat, escape from her captors.
Q: WHY SHOULD I BUY THESE BOOKS
A: What I tell people:
"Because, it'll help, when the Cats take over."
What I really mean:
"COME ON! Help a buddy out. Buy my book."
BUT, THE TRUTH IS:
It's a really good story, and to prove it,
Part 1 is FREE.
GO HERE TO GET IT.
FORMAT: (Digital) KINDLE E-Book Reader
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $2.99 (+tax)
Pages: 370
Size: 510 KB
FORMAT: (Hardcopy) Paperback
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $6.99 (+tax and any shipping)
Pages: 258
Size: 6" x 0.6" x 9"
BUY: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
BUY EITHER VERSION AT AMAZON.COM:
KINDLE $2.99 PAPERBACK $6.99
(+tax and any shipping)
AmyStrange & the Criminal
(PART 2: the Disappearance)
The Criminal's pretend arch-enemy disappears,
and it's up to AmyStrange to find her.
FORMAT: (Digital) KINDLE E-Book Reader
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $2.99 (+tax)
Pages: 358
Size: 505 KB
FORMAT: (Hardcopy) Paperback
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $6.99 (+tax and any shipping)
Pages: 255
Size: 6" x 0.6" x 9"
BUY: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
BUY EITHER VERSION AT AMAZON.COM:
KINDLE $2.99 PAPERBACK $5.99
(+tax and any shipping)
AmyStrange & the Criminal
(PART 3: the Road Trip)
The gang heads to Seattle to rescue
two of AmyStrange's cat buddies.
FORMAT: (Digital) KINDLE E-Book Reader
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $2.99 (+tax)
Pages: 277
Size: 473 KB
FORMAT: (Hardcopy) Paperback
BUY AT Amazon.com:
PRICE: $5.99 (+tax and any shipping)
Pages: 202
Size: 6" x 0.5" x 9"
BUY: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
AmyStrange & the Criminal
(PART 4: the Wedding)
The gang runs around the country finding missing persons,
ending with the Wedding of Beth and the Criminal.
!!COMING SOON!!
FORMAT: (Digital) KINDLE E-Book Reader
FORMAT: (Hardcopy) Paperback
CONTACT ME
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS
(or EVEN if you just wanna send me a nasty,
yet tasteful, comment or review)
feel free to e-mail me at (remove spaces):
ATOM @ ATOMADNESS.COM
Q: WILL I ANSWER BACK
A: That really depends on how well,
you make nasty, sound tasteful.
the FIRST 10 PAGES
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
(Oh, quit bitchin'. My favorite parts comin' up!)
[CLICK HERE] TO READ ALL OF PART 1 NOW, ON THIS WEBSITE
REMEMBER: THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
AmyStrange & the Criminal
(PART 1: THE ESCAPE)
A Novel by Dave Ayotte
Copyright © 2019 by David P. Ayotte
CHAPTER 1:
Wednesday, October 15th
(dictated 4:20 pm, Oct 29).
The guy at the store said it’d be
easy, but he must’ve been fucking
drunk, because the instructions were
pure, fucking gibberish. Here, check
it out.
No thanks. I get enough of that
gibberish crap from you and guess
what? Now you know how I feel. Hey!
What the f... look!
What?
The screen. Look at the screen.
Look at the...? Holy shit! It’s
working! It’s finally fucking working!
Yay! Yay! Yay!
Calm down, Jumpity Sam. It’s just a
dictating program, and not the cure
for cancer, but it is pretty cool
watching our words pop up.
It’s almost instantaneous, like...
like it can read our minds or something.
I think that's called auto-fill.
Auto what?
Auto-fill. The machine’s predicting
what you’re gonna say.
Oh, ok, but other than that, doesn’t
it still look weird?
It does a little. All that space and
shouldn’t there be quotation marks or
something? Wow! Now it looks even
weirder, or in your case, dorkier.
I should fix that.
You can’t fix dorky, and I know,
because I’ve been trying for almost
nine years now, and you’re still a dork.
Come on. Am I that bad? Really?
Well, it’s more funny than true, but
you do have your moments.
Now that, I have to agree with, but
what’s with the dork fixation all of a
sudden?
I was playing around online, you
know, looking for weird shit, and I ran
across something called Dorks-Are-You,
and it’s funny as hell.
Dorks-Are-You? Are you sure that’s
not Dorks-Are-Us?
Nope. You’re the dork, not me, and
it’s got all the latest dork news,
weather, jokes, and even has a crossword
puzzle. Did you know that dorks can now
wear jeans? I didn’t even know that was
a problem.
The weather too? How’s that work?
The same as ours, except it doesn’t
seem to do anything but rain in
Dorkland. As a matter of fact, it’s
been the headline news for weeks, and
that pretty much sums up your whole
life, doesn’t it?
It kinda does, but shouldn’t I say
something nice here, you know, like
how you give me all the sunshine I
need, and those raindrops are really
just tears of happiness, or something
sappy like that?
Hmm, those aren’t too bad for a
dork.
Ok, enough with the dork jokes,
please, and besides, I’ve always worn
jeans. I’ve got some on right now,
damn it.
I know. That’s what’s so confusing
about it.
Whatever. Now please, let me
concentrate, so I can find where
she... Fuck!
Now what?
Now I’ve got to start adding
context.
Fuck!
Context?
“You’ll see. Settings... settings?
Ok, there we go, click, click, click,
aha and voila! There you go my love,
quotation marks and all that other
jazz.”
“Nice, but now, about this
arch-enemy thing. What’s up with that?
She’s like what, fourteen-years-old?
How can you possibly hate a
fourteen-year-old?”
“I know, I know, but I don’t hate
her, Beth. She’s just diabolical, and
if you don’t watch her like a freakin’
hawk, she’ll be running this place,
and then we’ll be out on the street,
shoveling dirt for peanuts.”
“Ok, this is one of those times,
Crim, because what the hell does that
even mean? Shoveling dirt for peanuts?”
“It just means that she’s trouble
with a capital T.”
Beth rolled her eyes.
“Now see, that’s just more
gibberish, on top of all that other
gibberish, but whatever,” she said.
“Personally, I think she’s nice.”
“That’s the diabolical part, and
it’s what arch-enemies do. They act
all nice and shit, and make you feel
all safe and secure and happy, and
then they pounce.”
“Pounce?”
“Jump, or leap on you, like a rabid
peanut butter cookie and suck you dry
from the inside out.”
“Sheesh. I’m sorry I even asked now,
and I’ll probably also regret this,
but what’s this for?” Beth asked,
pointing to the computer.
After asking, she thought about it
for a few seconds, and then realized
she already knew the answer and just
needed me to confirm it.
“What answer? What the hell are you
talking about?” Beth asked with disgust.
“I did not ask that with disgust,”
Beth said with even more disgust.
“Hey!”
“That’s what I mean by context,” I
said and chuckled.
While fiddling around with the
settings, I added, “This is for that
Journal Dr. Zinger wants. Remember?”
“I do, but not about that, ‘cause I
can’t tell if you’re talking to me or
the freakin’ machine?”
“What do you mean?” I asked,
pretending to be perplexed too, but I
knew exactly what she was talking
about. I just wanted to screw around
with her head a little bit.
“You weasel! That part, and all that
other dramatic context crap,” Beth
said, and then laughed.
“This Journal’s gonna be one long
dramatic lie, ain’t it?”
“It’s what Dr. Zinger wants. She
thinks my feelings are way more
important than your damn facts,” I
said and continued to fiddle with some
of the other settings.
“If you’re gonna get that worked up
about it, you can add stuff at the end.”
“But what about your lies? Do I also
get to fix those, or maybe, if you
want, I could spice it up a whole lot
and make it even more unbelievable.”
“Spice it up? No, and no, you don’t
get to fix my... ARRRGH!! You can add
stuff at the end, and that’s it!” I
tried to pretend I was mad, but that
fucking crooked smile of yours.
“Damn it, Beth! Stop it!”
“Ok, that still might be fun,” she
said, and even stopped smiling.
“You know, Crim. I’m kinda beginning
to like this context thing of yours. I
can’t wait to read it and add my own.”
“When I’m done.”
“If you say so,” she said, and I
could almost see the gears turning in
her head. She’s cooking something up.
“Oh yeah, I’ve got something
cooking, all right. Dr. Zinger and I are
gonna straighten your ass out, and you
can take that to the bank, buster.”
“That reminds me. How’s dinner
coming along?”
“Darryl’s doing an awesome job.
Can’t you smell it?” she said, sniffed
the air, and then looked back at me.
“And, don’t think you’re gonna
change the subject that easily.”
“What subject?”
She gave me her serious look.
“Are you really gonna lie about
things in this Journal of yours,
because then, what’s the point? I mean,
why see a shrink, if you’re just going
to lie to her about everything? I’m
sorry, but I don’t see how that helps.”
“You and your brutal honesty crap,”
I said with disgust.
“You did say that with disgust, and
that’s what I mean. Getting down to the
dirty stuff. The stuff you don’t want to
hear or talk about, and that’s when
you’ll figure it all out.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, brutal honesty
ain’t pretty, and all that other blah,
blah, blah, bullshit. You’ve been
talking to Dr. Zinger again, haven’t
you? That’s all she talks about too.
That and getting butt fucked everywhere
I go.”
“You laugh and make jokes, but
you’ll see that we’re right,” she said
and sat in my lap.
“So?”
“So, what?”
“Are you going to be honest with
her... about everything?”
“About Scratches? Oh yeah, I
definitely have to be honest about her.”
“Scratches definitely, but no, I
mean about the talking cat. AmyStrange,
right? Are you gonna tell her about
that?”
“I guess I have to,” I said and
started fiddling with one of the
settings. “I think in Amy’s case, Cat
should definitely be capitalized.”
“I agree,” Beth said and smiled.
“If she’s real.”
“I’m not even sure myself. Except for
the selfie, the ten-thousand dollars, and
the fact that I’ve actually seen her
talk, I’ve got nothing. All I can say is
we’ll definitely know for sure Friday.”
“I can’t wait. This is gonna be one
freaky Halloween,” she said and started
scrolling to the top of the page.
“Why does the date stamp say October
15th? That was two weeks ago. Why don’t
you just start today? Oh Christ! That’s
when you tried to save those...”
“Beth, Beth, Beth!” I literally
screamed. “Don’t give it away! Please!”
“Ok, ok, ok!” she literally screamed
back at me.
“Don’t go all crazy on me, buddy.
Save that shit for your shrink,” she
said a little quieter.
She pulled out her gun, and it looks
like she’s checking to see if it’s
loaded, but I’m not really sure. I’m
not a big fan, but she definitely is.
She carries that thing everywhere,
even to bed.
“She can cure you, but I’m the only
one who gets to shoot you. That’s my
job, and you know what my motto is,
right?” she asked, ignoring my comment
and aimed at the ceiling.
“BANG!” she yelled.
“Shoot first, ask questions later?
Make the first shot count? What?”
“Nope. Kill-shot, well, your second
one is half right,” she said, and then
put her gun back.
“In your case, though, I’ll probably
just shoot you in the leg.”
“How comforting.”
“I’m just bustin’ your bucket of
beans, boyfriend,” she said and kissed
me.
“And, if you can get that brutal
honesty jazz right, I might not have
to shoot you at all. Now come on, get
those lies down, and then get your ass
downstairs, before Darryl throws your
stuff out.”
“Throws my stuff out? What do you
mean?”
“I think he’s gettin’ just a
teensy-weensy bit impatient,” she
answered.
“He said that if you’re not down by,
like now, then your share’s going out
to the barn.”
“Really, and you waited ten-minutes
to tell me this, instead of right off
the bat?”
She walked over to the window and
opened the curtain.
“Nope, I don’t see him yet, but
don’t worry. I think I can get you
another thirty minutes, maybe.”
“Isn’t he just pretending to be a
butler?” I asked. “I don’t remember
ever seeing a butler do that.”
“Seriously, how many butlers do you
know, and the ones on TV don’t count?”
“Well, in that case, none really.”
“See, so for all you know. This
might be a common practice in the
butlering world, and besides, if you
really think about it. Wouldn’t it piss
you off, if after spending all day
cooking this fantabulous meal, someone
waited until it got cold before eating
it? Wouldn’t that just piss you off?
Come on, be honest.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right,” Beth said.
“Now, shouldn’t you be putting this
into some kind of context, like how
I’m winning debate after debate and
shooting your arguments down like wet
cardboard boxes? You know, true stuff
like that.”
“Was I sleeping during all of that,
because I don’t remember any of it, but
you’d better go eat, and please get me
those extra thirty. That should give me
enough time to dictate a really quick
bio, and also what happened on the
15th.”
“Ok then, I’ll leave you to your
lies, and see what I can do about
Darryl, but you’d better hurry,” she
said, gave me another kiss, and then
was gone.
Crap and all that fucking bullshit.
Brutal honesty can’t be that fucking
hard, but damn it. I know Beth
wouldn’t shoot me. She’s super safety
conscious about all her guns, but
sometimes I still wondered, just a
little bit.
Let’s see, I think she has five,
six...
“Seven. I’ve also got an assault
rifle in the attic,” Beth said from
the stairs.
“Shut up and get me those thirty
minutes.”
“Roger that, Mister Prickly Puss.”
Prickly Puss? Where the hell does
she get this shit?
CHAPTER SUMMARIES:
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
PART 1: THE ESCAPE
CHAPTER 1
Wednesday, October 15th
(dictated 4:20 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal finally gets a Journal
started for his Shrink, Dr. Zinger, and
pretends it's October 15th. He dictates
a quick biography, starting with how he
got his nick, the death of his parents,
and how he snapped and killed his pet
kitten, Scratches. All this leads up to
the 15th, when he risk his life to save
six bunnies from drowning.
CHAPTER 2
Monday, October 20th
(dictated 6:40 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal is facing serious jail
time for the stupid thing he did to save
those six bunnies, but Randy Johnson
comes to the rescue, and also becomes
his PO (Parole Officer).
CHAPTER 3
Wednesday, October 22nd
(dictated 6:58 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal explains where he
works, because that's where the
"Secret Room" is at.
CHAPTER 4
Thursday, October 23rd
(dictated 7:16 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal hears a voice coming
from behind a vent that leads into the
Secret Room. The voice ask him about a
talking horse called Mr. Ed, and then
gives him a clue about three of the
people that worked in there,
Frankenstein and his two evil
assistants.
CHAPTER 5
Friday, October 24th
(dictated 7:21 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal meets AmyStrange, the
talking Cat, a genetic experiment gone
crazy, and also the voice from behind
the vent. The Criminal quickly agrees to
help the Cat escape.
CHAPTER 6
Saturday, October 25th
(dictated 7:46 pm, Oct 29)
Friday night, Beth and the Criminal
do their first Halloween Patrol of the
year. The next day, the Criminal does
his best not to look crazy, while his
PO comes by with his family for a
barbeque. It's why he waits until after
they leave before telling Beth about the
talking Cat, and of course, she doesn't
believe him. Would you?
CHAPTER 7
Sunday, October 26th
(dictated 8:05 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal meets up with his
secret friends for their monthly secret
meeting. Beth pretends not to know
anything about it. The Criminal's
arch-enemy is also there, and like
usual, they go at each other like little
children. The Criminal's secret friends
join them on their Halloween Patrol that
night, except Beth doesn't know anything
about it, or so the Criminal thinks.
CHAPTER 8
Monday, October 27th
(dictated 8:29 pm, Oct 29)
The Criminal finally gets to see
inside the Secret Room. Plus, the Cat
gives him a debit card with ten
thousand dollars on it.
CHAPTER 9
Tuesday, October 28th
(dictated 8:35 pm, Oct 29)
Beth stops pretending that she
doesn't know anything about the
Criminal's secret friends. She also ask
him to marry her, as she pushes him out
the door to go to work. The Cat explains
who everyone was that worked in the
Secret Room, how she learned she could
talk, and also about how she was able to
get the ten thousand dollars.
CHAPTER 10
Wednesday, October 29th,
(dictated 2:22 am, Oct 30)
Beth explains how she learned about
the Criminal's secret friends. The Cat
tells the Criminal about the scream that
changed everything. Darryl comes over to
practice being a butler. The Criminal
finally gets his Journal started by
pretending it's October 15th.
CHAPTER 11
Thursday, October 30th
(dictated 10:07 pm)
The Cat gives the Criminal another
six debit cards with another ten
thousand on each of them. Beth tells the
Criminal about three obscure references
that a professor at the College had
given her. They were about talking cats
from the past. The saddest one was
allegedly from the Salem Witch Trials.
CHAPTER 12
Thursday, October 30th
(dictated 2:32 am, Oct 31)
The Criminal, Beth and everyone else
go on their last Halloween Patrol,
before they help the Cat escape. The
Criminal remembers his first Halloween
Patrol, and the second one when he met
Beth.
CHAPTER 13
Friday, October 31st
(dictated 6:11 pm)
An armed military person is guarding
the door to the Secret Room. The
Criminal worries about that for the rest
of the day.
CHAPTER 14
Friday, October 31st
(dictated 1:13 am, Nov 1)
That night, all his secret friends
meet Beth in person, as they get
together to prepare for the Cat's
escape. No one seemed particularly
worried about the armed guard. They
thought the whole talking Cat business
was a ruse to get them together, so
they could announce their engagement.
Little did they know.
CHAPTER 15
Saturday, November 1st
(dictated 7:56 am)
Once they Cat-nap the Cat, the
Criminal's relieved to know he isn't
crazy. The Cat tells her adoring
audience about the money, and the
history of the evil human race according
to her, AmyStrange.
CHAPTER SUMMARIES:
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
PART 2: THE DISAPPEARANCE
CHAPTER 16
Saturday, November 1st 10:13 am
(5 hours missing)
The Criminal's arch-enemy, Rhonda,
goes missing.
CHAPTER 17
Saturday, November 1st, 10:14 am
(5 hours missing)
And once again, the Criminal says
something stupid, as Rhonda's mother
struggles to get free and scratch his
eyes out.
CHAPTER 18
Saturday, November 1st, 11:18 am
(6 hours missing)
Detective Johnson meets the Cat.
CHAPTER 19
Saturday, November 1st, 11:29 pm
(18 hours missing)
One of the Cat's genetic superpowers
is the ability to zone in on where
someone was by scent alone. It was a
great plan until it didn't work. They
end up searching through Ghost Town,
until the rain starts coming down in
buckets. The Criminal, Beth and the Cat
brainstorm until everything becomes one
jumbled mess. Beth suggest that maybe a
little sleep will help clear their
heads.
CHAPTER 20
Sunday, November 2nd, 4:19 am
(23 hours missing)
Beth's idea works, and the Criminal
now knows where he screwed up.
CHAPTER 21
Sunday, November 2nd, 4:20 am
(23 hours missing)
The gang finds Rhonda.
CHAPTER 22
Sunday, November 4:58 am
(Found)
And her sister Stephanie too.
They're both alive, but severely
traumatized by their experience.
CHAPTER 23
Sunday, November 2nd, 5:49 am
(dictated 7:03 pm)
The Criminal literally runs and gets
the Parkers so they can go back to the
hospital to make a positive ID of
Stephanie. The Criminal calls Dr. Zinger
for her help.
CHAPTER 24
Sunday, November 2nd, 8:00 am
(dictated 7:19 pm)
The Criminal does something stupid
again, and almost gets himself killed,
but it works.
CHAPTER 25
Sunday, November 2nd, 10:30 am
(dictated 8:07 pm)
The Cat tells everyone where they're
going to free her buddies, Seattle. Beth
gives Mouse and Pee Wee a tour of the
farm. The Cat doesn't know what a movie
is. Pee Wee and the Criminal know
exactly what her first movie should be.
CHAPTER 26
Sunday, November 2nd, 11:53 am
(dictated 8:52 pm)
The Cat watches these movies, in
this order, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's
Nest, Casablanca, and Miracle on 34th
Street.
CHAPTER 27
Monday, November 3rd, 1:00 am
(dictated 2:13 am)
The Criminal, Darryl, and the Cat
discuss movies, good and bad people,
giving liquor to a Cat, and the Darknet.
CHAPTER 28
Monday, November 3rd, 6:29 am
(dictated 10:58 am)
Beth, the Criminal, and the Cat go
to the hospital to see Stephanie and
bring her the bunny the Criminal
promised her yesterday. Dr. Zinger
almost kills the Cat.
CHAPTER 29
Monday, November 3rd, 9:00 am
(dictated 11:31 am)
Since going to Seattle now entailed
going cross-country by Mobile, they find
one that's straight off the screen of a
sci-fi movie. It can almost turn
invisible, and that's just one of the
many, many things it can do. The gang
meets Rhonda’s friends, Zack and Jack,
and also get a tour of their lab and
where the Mobile was built.
CHAPTER 30
Monday, November 3rd, Noon
(dictated 9:13 pm)
Everyone gets a chance to drive the
Mobile, except the Criminal. He gets his
chance when they get to the hospital to
drop Rhonda off. The Parkers agree to
spend the night on the Criminal's farm,
and everyone else does too.
CHAPTER 31
Monday, November 3rd, 8:00 pm
(dictated 9:42 pm)
While Beth holds on for dear l ife,
the Criminal drives to pick up the
Parkers. After coming back alive with
them, Beth gives another tour of the
farm, telling Bowser's story, and
Fang's too.
CHAPTER 32
Tuesday, November 4th, 6:32 am
(dictated 10:14 am)
Everyone spends the night. Beth and
the Criminal spend it sleeping with
their babies. Rhonda joins them. Her
and the Criminal talk over this whole
arch-enemy business before falling
asleep. The next morning, everyone gets
ready to leave, but before they do, the
Cat talks to the Parkers, and decides
that God is a mad scientist, and that
she also lives in the Criminal's attic.
CHAPTER SUMMARIES:
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
PART 3: THE ROAD TRIP
CHAPTER 33
Tuesday, November 4th, 2:00 pm
(dictated 11:02 pm)
The road trip officially starts.
Pee Wee drives the first part. The
Criminal takes over in Oklahoma.
CHAPTER 34
Tuesday, November 4th, 7:43 pm
(dictated 11:19 pm)
The Criminal, Beth and the Cat watch
the Wizard of Oz, and the Night of the
Living Dead. Beth explains the Civil
Rights Movement to the Cat, and the
politics of everything else. This one
was the ten-cent version.
CHAPTER 35
Wednesday, November 5th, 1:04 am
(dictated 7:21 am)
The gang hooks up with Denise and
they drive to her house. She actually
gets to see the Cat talk, before she
sees another cat and disappears, the
Cat, not Denise.
CHAPTER 36
Wednesday, November 5th, 3:18 am
(dictated 6:32 am)
The Gang meets Desi and finds out,
really quick, how much of a fan she is
of the old I Love Lucy TV show.
CHAPTER 37
Wednesday, November 5th, 6:52 am
(dictated 8:38 pm)
Another missing person to find. Bo's
wife disappeared six months ago. Bo
owns and runs The Basement, but
unfortunately, the gang can't go until
tomorrow night, when the Beave isn't
there. Two dogs also disappeared, and
they do a drive by that area instead.
The Criminal finds out if the Mobile can
fly or not.
CHAPTER 38
Thursday, November 6th, 12:06 am
(dictated 9:32 am)
A man in black delivers two more
bottles of Jack, courtesy of the Cat and
the Darknet.
CHAPTER 39
Thursday, November 6th, 7:58 am
(dictated 6:42 pm)
Before they go shopping, the gang
takes another look at where the two dogs
disappeared. The Criminal explains why
talking cats will take over the world
and turn us all into food.
CHAPTER 40
Thursday, November 6th, 5:30 pm
(dictated 12:16 am, Nov 7)
Everyone goes to The Basement,
including the Cat, who the Criminal
finds passed out in the back of a
pick-up. She tells Bo that the Beave has
his wife Axalia, and during the ensuing
shootout, the Beave is killed by Beth.
The Sheriff tells the gang to be out of
town by sundown.
CHAPTER 41
Friday, November 7th, 10:00 am
(dictated 1:37 pm)
They leave around the time the sun
comes up. The night before, the Sheriff
stopped by to give them some news on
Axalia and the two dogs that
disappeared. The Cat watches some Mel
Gibson movies.
CHAPTER 42
Friday, November 7th, 7:00 pm
(dictated 11:07 pm)
The Criminal wakes up to find the
Cat driving the Mobile using a computer
and joystick. While driving, the
Criminal calls Johnson, Alex and the
other Amy. Beth calls Alicia, Pat and
Denise.
CHAPTER 43
Saturday, November 8th, 2:57 am
(dictated 8:42 am)
Beth and the Criminal both drive
into Portland, Oregon. Mouse takes over
from there. Beth calls Rhonda to get a
live feed of Stephanie’s arrival at the
farm. As soon as Stephanie stepped out
of the car, all the cats and dogs came
running to greet her, and then she saw
the horses.
CHAPTER 44
Saturday, November 8th, 9:00 am
(dictated 3:12 pm)
They arrive at Pat Lonsdale's house
in Tukwila, Washington.
CHAPTER 45
Saturday, November 8th, 10:20 am
(dictated 3:28 pm)
The recon mission is set for seven
that night, so everyone decides to smoke
some pot. It's Washington State, after
all.
CHAPTER 46
Surprise!!
EPILOGUE
Sunday, November 9th, 2:14 pm
The Criminal dictates Rhonda's
interview, and some of Johnson's notes
from the autopsy reports.
Wednesday, November 12th, 1:00 am
Beth finishes reading the Criminal's
version, and gives her opinion,
including the fact that the Cat told
everyone that she was already pregnant,
the Cat, not Beth.
Saturday, November 15th, 4:20 am
The Cat adds her two cents, and also
explains her division by zero theory. If
humans can't deal with it, "then that’s
a human problem, and not a Cat one."
CHAPTER SUMMARIES:
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
[ TOP | TABLE of CONTENTS | TOP ]
PART 4: THE WEDDING
CHAPTER 47
Wednesday, March 26, 2:02 pm
(dictated 2:02 pm)
The Criminal couldn’t decide where
to start, so Beth gave him a good hint,
the beginning. He agreed, threw
everybody out of the room and got down
to business.
CHAPTER 48
Saturday, November 8th, 7:36 pm
(dictated 2:27 pm, Mar 26)
Immediately after the surprise in
Seattle, Beth proves how good a shot she
is, and the gang also gets their first
case.
CHAPTER 49
Saturday, November 8th, 9:17 pm
(dictated 2:49 pm, Mar 26)
Zack and Jack fly the gang to
Louisiana for their first case. Mouse
and Pee Wee volunteer to drive the
Mobile and meet them there. The gang
finds the seven-year-old girl, but
before they even have a chance to
celebrate, they get another case.
CHAPTER 50
Sunday, November 9th, 5:32 am
(dictated 3:07 pm, Mar 26)
They end up on their way to Chicago
to find a missing Mom. The gang learns
that Zack and Jack’s second plane is
being re-engineered to fly the Mobile
around with them, but also run on
electricity rather than jet fuel.
CHAPTER 51
Friday, March 27th, 2:56 am
(dictated 2:56 am)
Beth sneaks in and adds her opinion.
CHAPTER 52
Wednesday, November 26th, 10:38 am
(dictated 7:41 am, Mar 27)
The gang takes a break and flies
home for Thanksgiving. The Cat and the
Criminal decide to switch from liquor to
pot.
CHAPTER 53
Sunday, November 9th, 7:06 am
(dictated 9:28 am, Mar 27)
The Criminal remembers back to that
crazy time in Chicago.
CHAPTER 54
Tuesday, November 25th, 2:03 pm
(dictated 11 am, Mar 27)
He also remembers back to the mind
blower in Maine.
CHAPTER 55
Wednesday, November 26th, 2:26 pm
(dictated 3:04 pm, Mar 27)
Beth, Darryl and the Criminal walk
in on a surprise party, and the Cat
gets examined by Barry. Of course,
they have to tell him the secret.
CHAPTER 56
Thursday, November 27th, 9 am
(dictated 3:41 pm, Mar 27)
The gang spends Thanksgiving at
Grandmother Parker’s house.
CHAPTER 57
Friday, November 28th, 5:22 am
(dictated 7:13 pm, Mar 27)
The gang heads to Quantico.
CHAPTER 58
Saturday, November 29th, 6 am
(dictated 7:49 pm, Mar 27)
Everyone meets the President,
including the Cat, and they have a
private pow wow in the corner. He also
watches as Beth demonstrates her skills
with a gun, while the Secret Service
stood nervously by, waiting for the
worst, and hoping for the best.
CHAPTER 59
Wednesday, January 7th, 8:51 am
(dictated 9:16 pm, Mar 28)
The fiasco in Frisco unfolds with an
armed attack on Beth at the farm. She
easily kills all four of them, after
barely avoiding the first bullet by
inches.
CHAPTER 60
Thursday, January 8th, 1:03 am
(dictated 9:25 am, Mar 28)
Beth finds Bowser dead. The Criminal
has to knock himself out. Rhonda wants
to just kick some ass and find Bowser’s
killer.
CHAPTER 61
Friday, March 20th, 5:49 pm
(dictated 10:43 am, Mar 28)
The Bachelor Party.
CHAPTER 62
Saturday, November 29th, Noon
(dictated 7:29 pm, Mar 28)
The Wedding.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
[ TOP ]
GET YOUR FREE E-BOOK (Part 1: the Escape)
What if I don't have an E-Reader?
Read PART 1 for FREE NOW, ON THIS WEBSITE
WHAT REVOLUTION?
SERIES OVERVIEW
BUY: PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
COMING SOON: PART 4
READ: the FIRST 10 PAGES
ALL OF PART 1
CHAPTER SUMMARIES: PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
PART 4
CONTACT ME
BACK to the TOP
( PSSST... IF YOU LIKE READING CRAZY CRAP LIKE THIS,
THEN YOU'VE JUST GOTTA [CLICK HERE]
AND READ MY BLOG on AMYSTRANGE.ORG )
The
AmyStrange & the Criminal
Series by Dave Ayotte